Duality and the Monorail of Life

Duality is a condition the human mind is not naturally suited to handle. That's what I think, anyhow. Well, of course, this is a personal blog, so that second sentence is superfluous. SO! Simultaneously holding two states of e.g. emotion that have mutually exclusive qualities causes a curious sensation in my soul. There are pieces of me--the spirit/physical/mental me--that are in 'two places at once.' The sensation is like being in between like-poled magnets being pressed together, or water and oil occupying the same space, opposing and melding all at once.

Okay, that all seems like confusing drivel, at a cursory glance. But, while I can't cause molecules to overlap, electron clouds to fuse, etc, there is something about the intangible universe of emotion that makes this co-existence doable. What is it? Why can I be so enthralled with two at the same time? Why can I feel so deep a connection more than once. Isn't once supposed to be the limit? Isn't there a cut-off? When all the touchable universe 'moves' in one direction, forward in time, like a one-way highway, where does this loop-dee-loop-toroidal-spirally-knotted nature of dreams, love, thoughts, and all things going on in my head and heart come from? Kids, never end your sentences with prepositions like that, it's bad form.

Heghh...It's a funny place to be in, this double state; I love it. I languish in it. I loathe it. I lament it. Embracing the tangle is so often a welcome respite from the trundling spins of the rock beneath my feet, going on and on, around and around, and my circadian rhythm follows dutifully. That ticking clock within me that is the anchor of mortality.

I wish I could live a 1000 lifetimes in a 1000 histories. The odds of striking that precise decimal along the timeline would be so much greater! One-way life is sometimes hard to live with. There we go again with the prepositions...